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Become as Babes

2/7/2012

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Become as babes.
_“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven”  - Matthew 18:3

This week I’d like to explore this popular verse from the Bible with a simple meditation. I have come across a passage in a book by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj that explains this very thing that Jesus was talking about. Read the passage below and then attempt the meditation that follows as often as you can, but at least twice a day for the next week.

“An infant knows its body, but not the body-based distinctions. It is just conscious and happy. After all, that was the purpose for which it was born. The pleasure to be is the simplest form of self love, which later grows into love of the self. Be like an infant with nothing standing between the body and the self. The constant noise of the psychic life is absent. In deep silence the self contemplates the body. It is like the white paper on which nothing is written yet. Be like that infant, instead of trying to be this or that, be happy to be. You will be a fully awakened witness of the field of consciousness. But there should be no feelings and ideas to stand between you and the field.”

As you lie in bed this week, on waking up and before you go to sleep, see if you can feel your body without the interference of the mind. Feel the aliveness flowing through you. Feel your very existence. Imagine that you are a new born baby – in other words you have no language or imagery or memories with which to examine yourself, no judgements about how you feel, just the feeling that you are.

Happy regressions!

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Mindful Meals

12/5/2011

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Mindful meals for conscious parents.
_Just a reminder that this is the third of a four part series inspired by the work of Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn, where each activity is done in a state of mindfulness.


This week we will be focusing on eating.

As with the previous two exercises, try to eat all your meals in a state of mindfulness. What does this mean? Being totally present in the experience – not lost in thought, or guzzling down the food as quickly as possible so that you can get on with something else. It really helps with this one if you can eat as many of your meals as possible in silence. Make sure that you are not involved in other activities while you eat – not working, or watching TV, or on the phone.

Most religions have a tradition of prayer before meals. I think this is a wonderful way to begin a meal – in a state of gratitude. I don’t mean for you to blurt out a quick “thanks for the grub”, but take a moment before you begin to consider where this food came from, how much energy it took to bring it to you, how wonderful it is that you have something to eat at every meal, and particularly how wonderful it is to eat delicious food!

And then show your appreciation for your food by actually paying attention to it while you eat...

Although food may seem to be mostly a taste experience, try to make use of your all your senses:
– smells: you’ll be surprised how much smell affects your ability to taste your food. Take a moment to bring the food up to your nose and breathe in the different aromas.
- sounds: the sound of your cutlery on the plate, the sizzling of the hot food, the sounds of your chewing.
- textures: different foods have vastly different textures – is your food smooth or slimy or chewy or rough? How does it feel to simply hold it in your mouth and run your tongue over it?
- tastes: see if you can taste the subtle differences between mouthfuls, the underlying herbs and spices that have been used, the combinations of salty, bitter, sweet, sour and pungent foods.
- sights: the colours and textures and vast variations on these in one meal, the uniqueness of each vegetable or fruit, the shapes and contours.

Although you may have preferences for different tastes, smells, or textures, attempt to suspend your judgement this week. Try to eat something that you particularly dislike, but eat it slowly and in a state of total mindfulness and non-judgement and see what happens.

Set aside a little more time for your meals this week and slow them down considerably. There is a Chinese Saying: “drink your food and eat your drink”. Don’t forget that digestion starts in the mouth, not in the stomach. Most of us are eating much too fast and are then confused by the resulting indigestion. Take a moment, too, to appreciate your own body and how amazing and intelligent it is to take whatever nonsense you give it and send it to the correct place, break it down into what you need, distribute these nutrients to different areas of the body and then use them to fight disease or build muscles or numerous other tasks without you paying any attention to it whatsoever.

If you want to take this exercise one step further, work on preparing all your meals in a state of mindfulness too – with total presence, attention and acceptance for the moment exactly as it presents itself.

Remember in all these exercises to be patient with yourself. If you find yourself consuming an entire meal in unconsciousness or judging your experience in any way, to simply notice it, and celebrate the fact that you have noticed it and that you now have a chance to choose differently in the future.

BTW Don’t forget to continue brushing your teeth and doing your dishes with awareness. The point of this series of exercises is to bring awareness into as many areas of your day as possible, but focusing on one at a time to make it more accessible.

Bon appetit!

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Mindful Dishes

11/4/2011

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A mindfulness exercise for parents.
Just a reminder that this is the second of a four part series inspired by the work on mindfulness in everyday life by Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn.

This week we will be focusing on either washing the dishes or packing and unpacking the dishwasher.

This is somewhat less of an emotionally neutral activity than brushing your teeth, and we will bring some of this emotional awareness into the exercise.

So, out with the post it notes and pop one above the sink or on the dishwasher or somewhere where it will be a quick reminder before you begin one of these tasks. If you are not the person in your household usually responsible for the dishes, then maybe this is a good time to combine this activity with doing something nice for someone else with no need for acknowledgement or exchange (a future exercise coming soon!).

Perhaps the best way to approach this exercise initially will be with acceptance rather than joy and excitement (although if these do pop up in the week, don’t be surprised). The main thing is that while you’re dealing with the dishes to do this in a way in which you are not completely lost in thought.

Make use of your senses:
– notice any smells - the dishwashing powder, the leftovers, any other general kitchen smells
- sounds - the clinking of the dishes against one another, the water going into or out of the sink (in our home we call this the drain dragon and it elicits much excitement from the kids – perhaps a chance to reclaim some childishness and actually enjoy this?)
- textures - smooth plates, slimy pots, wetness vs dryness, cold vs heat
- tastes - no, I don’t expect you to sip the dirty dish water, but how about running your finger through the leftover sauce?
- sights - colours, bubbles, flashing lights on dishwashers, wrinkly hands

The point is to not do this as a means to an end, but to really engage in every moment of the experience. Just because it’s become a boring old chore doesn’t mean that it has to remain that way. Forget the past and embrace this experience as if it was the first time you had ever done it and that you were never ever going to get the chance to do it again. Try to remember the first time one of your kids helped you to wash the dishes and the joy and excitement that they brought to the experience.

Notice also your mental and emotional activity throughout. As usual, if you do get lost in thought and move into auto pilot mode, simply notice this and gently bring yourself back into the present. Pay particular attention to the emotional baggage that may be associated with this task – any resentment, boredom, irritability, etc. Don’t add a second layer of judgement by judging your response to this. Notice it with interest, see it as a conditioned response based on the past, and let it go.

Most importantly, enjoy the experience. Every moment of every day counts. And someone has to do the dishes – wouldn’t it make an enormous difference to the general energy in the world if everyone did every task they were involved in with total acceptance and maybe even a little joy?!

BTW Don’t forget to continue brushing your teeth with awareness. The point of this series of exercises is to bring awareness into as many areas of your day as possible, but focusing on one at a time to make it more accessible.

Bring on the bubbles!

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Mindful Teeth

10/18/2011

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A mindfulness activity for conscious parents.
The next four posts are inspired by the course that I attended on mindfulness in everyday life based on the work of Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn.

The idea is to bring the sense of meditative awareness and presence into everyday life. So, over the next 4 posts we will add one activity per blog that we will be doing in a state of mindfulness. I will be choosing 4 very mundane daily activities that we normally do in a state of unconsciousness, thinking about something else or simply acting out on auto-pilot. The thing is, a large portion of our lives is made up of mundane daily activities – things that we normally do as a means to an end – brushing our teeth, doing the dishes, driving to work. Seldom do we stop and revel in the wonder of these simple tasks that have become background to our lives. What we will attempt over the next 4 blogs is to bring our meditation into as many areas of our lives as we can, so that in the long run our whole lives become a meditation, a celebration of life itself.

This time we will focus on brushing our teeth – an activity that hopefully everyone is engaging in a least once, if not twice a day. I suggest that you put a post-it note or something up on your bathroom mirror to remind you of this one, as after a whole lifetime of doing this unconsciously it might be easy to slip back into old habits.

So, every time you brush your teeth, use this as a meditation. Without bringing the thinking mind in to analyse every movement, try to be aware of some of the following...

 - how wonderful it is to have a toothbrush. Watch a little child when they get their first toothbrush and see the excitement and wonder of this familiar everyday object. Try to reclaim a little of that wonder and freshness.
 - take a good look at your toothpaste. Notice every little movement of your body involved in fetching your chosen paste, opening it up, putting it onto your toothbrush. Bring it up to your nose and smell it. Put a little bit on your tongue and experience the intensity of the taste.
 - then as you brush your teeth, try to be aware of all the sensations involved – taste, smell, feeling, sounds. Notice what your tongue is doing as you brush – how it moves out of the way. Notice the different sensations as you brush different areas. Try brushing your tongue, or even running the toothbrush over your lips. Notice the different movements involved in getting to all areas.
 - If you slip into auto-pilot, don’t stress, Just notice how easily that happens and bring yourself back to the task at hand.
 - If you find that your mind wanders or tries to label / name / analyse everything you are doing, bring awareness to your breath, and keep some awareness on the breath as you continue.
 - listen to the sounds of the water as you turn it on to rinse. Feel the sensations of this – the heat or cold, and the different tastes before and after you rinse.
 - notice any small details along the way. Stay focused in the present and totally engaged in the activity that you are busy with.

Ok, I realise that if you brushed your teeth like this every day it would take more time than you have allocated to this activity. However, you can brush your teeth in the same amount of time and stay totally present and aware of all sensations and your breathing. It helps in the beginning to take a little more time and exaggerate the experience to draw you out of the lifetime of unconscious activity that preceded this week. So, if you can, spend a little more time on the first few days and then as the week goes on see if you can bring the time down and still keep the same level of awareness.

By the way, don’t be surprised if your mind resists this activity with all its might. It will most likely tell you that this is silly and mundane and that there is no awesomeness or wonder in brushing your teeth and that it will not further any of your great plans that you have for yourself. Let it rant, notice this, and laugh. There is only this moment, right now, so whether you are reading this or brushing your teeth or making a life changing decision, the wonder of life is in this moment. Enjoy every second of it.

Happy brushing!

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Who Am I?

10/3/2011

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A consciousness exercise for parents.
All the great spiritual teachers over time have recommended this simple, yet powerful meditation:

Sit quietly for 10-20 minutes twice a day, with your eyes closed, and ask yourself “Who Am I?”. Don’t try to answer the question, simply allow the silence that follows it to be. Know that any answer that comes from the mind is a thought form, and cannot be who you truly are. This question cannot be answered on the level of form. If your mind starts to wander, as it inevitably does, ask the question again, and again sit in the stillness.

Try to keep this question in mind as you go about your week. Whenever you catch yourself defining yourself or playing a role, ask yourself if that is really who you are. Question even your most fundamental of assumptions – Are you your body? Are you your mind? Are you your personality? Are you a person? Find out who you are by finding out first who you are not. Once you have stripped yourself of everything that you are not, then only what you are will remain!

"Ask yourself, 'Who is reading this?' It's not who you think." - JDH
 
Wishing You a wonderful week of Self discovery!

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Zen Masters

9/8/2011

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An exercise in presence for conscious parents.
This exercise was inspired by the teachings of Michael Brown and the numerous stories of Zen Masters over the centuries.

If you’ve ever heard any of the stories about Zen Masters they are usually very funny for the listener, but quite intense experiences for the disciples. Usually they involve a disciple who is not attending to his meditation properly and is therefore lost in thought. What the Zen Master will do is to sneak up behind him and either whack him on the head with a stick, or throw him out the second story window, or something equally as hectic that is sure to make him remain present in the future for fear of further attack!

With this in mind, your task this week is to discover your Zen Masters. Everyone has someone, or some situation in their lives that annoys them intensely, or tends to draw them into unconsciousness – a boss, your kids, an alarm going off, your mother-in-law. These people / situations are often our best spiritual teachers, or as Michael Brown puts it, your demons are really your angels. The idea is to nominate these people as your Zen Masters. If you can, take a photo of them and write “My Zen Master” across it and stick it somewhere that you will see it daily. Then, whenever the person or situation starts to drive you insane, remember that they are your teachers, there to help you to become conscious, and use this as a trigger to do something to bring you into yourself and into the present. This could involve focusing on your breathing, using a mantra, looking at a flower, anything that will stop you from resorting to your old conditioned mind patterns or reactive behavior.

In reality, everything in your life is there to assist you in raising your level of consciousness. Your life is your spiritual journey. Your Zen Masters are all around. Make the most of their lessons!

As the Chinese saying goes – Happiness in Suffering!

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Comfort Zones

8/11/2011

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A fun exercise for conscious parents.
Ready for some fun?! This week we’re going to try stepping out of our comfort zones. Spiritual traditions are always telling us that we are not who we think we are and that we need to let go of all our self-imposed definitions to find out who we are not, are thereby who we actually are.

So, your exercise for this week is to figure out what and who you define yourself as (including the implied definitions) and then to mess with these as much as possible.

For example...

 - If you define yourself as a Goth, you could spend the week dressed in bright colours and listening to hip-hop.
 - If you define yourself as a Christian, you could try going to a service at a mosque or synagogue.
 - If you define yourself as a punctual person, you could try to be late for everything this week.
 - If you define yourself as a couch potato, you could go for a daily run.
 - If you define yourself as the life of the party, you could try to sit inconspicuously and observe instead of partaking in the action.
 - If you define yourself as shy, make an effort to say one thing to every stranger that you pass.

Try to stir up some of your little habits and routines that you have put in place – eat dinner at a different time, try something new, wear your hair in a different style, sleep in or wake early.

Do something so out of character that everyone says “hey, do you know what so-and-so did today – I would have expected it from x but not from them!” The more uncomfortable and unlike you it is, the better.

May you find who you are not, and discover that it wasn’t what you thought it would be!

Have fun!

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Feeling the I AM

8/5/2011

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A meditation for conscious parents.
I found this one on You Tube, posted by NetiNetiFilms from their DVD “I Am That I Am”, and it is based on the teachings of Sri Nisargaddata Maharaj.

All the spiritual teachings throughout the ages have taught that we are more than mere bodies, that we are the infinite, the ever present, the eternal. We are encouraged to somehow get in touch with this feeling, to draw our attention away from the physical and into this inner world. Eckhart Tolle calls this feeling Beingness, Michael Brown calls in Presence, Maharaj calls it the I Am. Whatever name you give to it, it helps to have a taste of what it is you’re trying to connect with. I believe this meditation is an excellent starting point.

This is the link to the video on You Tube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhYnrDBnQHc&feature=related

 Its quite nice to have someone talk you through it, as it needs to be done with your eyes closed . Otherwise, I’ve typed out the meditation below – read it through a couple of times and then talk yourself through it or get someone else to talk you through it.

“Close your eyes.
Without using your thoughts, your memory, your emotions, your associations or your perceptions, are you a man, a woman, or neither?
Without using your thoughts, your memory, your emotions, your associations or your perceptions, are you defined, undefined, or neither?
Without using your thoughts, your memory, your emotions, your associations or your perceptions, are you limited, unlimited, or neither?
Without using your thoughts, your memory, your emotions, your associations or your perceptions, are you in a body, out of a body, or neither?
Without using your thoughts, your memory, your emotions, your associations or your perceptions, notice the no-state state of the I Am - no thoughts, memory, emotions, associations or perceptions.
Open your eyes, but keep part of your awareness in the no-state state of the I Am”

Try to connect to this feeling as often as you can.

Wishing you a week of no-thingness.

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Tense to Relax

7/21/2011

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A conscious parenting tool to relax.
This is a great exercise that we used to do prior to meditation in Yoga classes.

This week, before you go to sleep every night, do the following:

Lie comfortably on your back in bed with your eyes closed. Starting at your toes, you are going to tense up and then relax all the muscles in your body. So, scrunch the toes and feet up as tight as you can, hold them like that for a minute and then just release them and let them relax completely. Then tense up your calf muscles, as tight as you can without tensing up the rest of your body, and then release. Then your knees, then your thighs, then your buttocks. Feel now how your entire legs are completely relaxed and your feet are flopping out to the sides. Then move on to your stomach muscles, your back, and chest. Feel your whole torso sinking into the bed, completely at ease. The tense and relax your upper arms, and then your forearms. Pull your hands into tight fists and then release them. Feel how your arms have totally relaxed. Now tense all the muscles in your neck – push your neck back into the bed below you. Then relax. Now tense up your face and head. Pull your face into a grimace, clench your teeth, scrunch your eyes up. Hold and then relax. Feel that the skin on your face is sliding off your skull and into the bed. Do a mental scan of your body now and see if there are any areas of tension that you are still hanging on to. Let them slip away. Feel your entire body now sinking into the bed. Sinking sinking. Relaxing into the darkness. Now sleep.

With each section of your body that you are tensing and relaxing, try to isolate just that part of the body and keep the rest still. And make sure that you really do tense it up, until its almost painful – it is the contrast between the tension and relaxation that will assist you in going deeper into the relaxation and allowing you to let go of the tension properly. If you so choose, and are not too tired, instead of going to sleep at the end, use this complete body relaxation as a good starting point for a short meditation.

Wishing you a relaxing, tension free week!

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Conscious Consumer

7/7/2011

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Conscious parents shop consciously.
This week’s exercise was inspired by my friend James. Here’s what he had to say:

"Every cent you spend is a vote. A vote towards what you want made, how you
want it made, by whom and at what expense to the world and its inhabitants. Every vote counts."
 - JDH                            

So, your task for this week is to go shopping! Ok, not exactly. Simply do the normal shopping you would have done this week, but allow a bit more time for it. The idea this week is to become conscious of how much of what we consume is actually a need and how much is pure desire, and the effects of these desires on ourselves and the world at large. So, while you are shopping (or consuming in any form), start to ask yourself some of the following questions:

Do I really need this?

What effect will this purchase have on me? Included in this question could be things things like... Does this food have hidden sugar /salt / hydrogenated fats / E numbers / etc that may be hazardous to my health? Does it have true nutritional value or is it simply filler? Is this likely to damage my liver / kidneys / lungs / brain? Will I be absorbing any chemicals / pesticides / etc used in the production of this product? (Read the label of every single product you buy – you’ll be surprised at what you have been taking in without even knowing it.)

What effect will this purchase have on others? Included in this could be things like... Is this something that is in short demand? Has it been manufactured at a reduced cost by using ‘sweat shop’ style labor or replacing jobs with machinery?  Am I using money on a superfluous product which could rather be spent on helping someone with a real need? Was anyone physically harmed or threatened during the manufacture or distribution of this product?

What effect will this purchase have on the environment? Included in this could be things like... How much waste will be created from the packaging? How many pollutants entered the world through its manufacturing process? Does it contain hazardous chemicals that may get into the water supply or affect the animals or plants in your environment? Has this product been produced by a company that tests on animals? Will this product ultimately end up in a landfill / the sea? Is there an alternative product that would be less harmful to the environment? How long will it take for this product or its packaging to break down?

Then try to extend your questions beyond an actual shopping trip. Become aware of how you function in consumer mode almost from the minute you wake up, and sometimes even in your sleep... Every time you turn on a light or a tap you are consuming and your consumption is affecting your world. Consider how many times you boil a kettle in the day. Do you leave lights on when you’re not even in the room? Do you leave the tap running while you brush your teeth? Do you run the hot tap when you could have used the cold? Do you leave your computer or other appliances on standby overnight? These are just a few issues that I can think of offhand, but try to move through your day with awareness, catching yourself in unconscious consumerism as much as possible.

Imagine for a minute that everyone in the world was exactly the same as you, with the same desires and habits and morality. Imagine the 6 billion people in the world all thinking and acting exactly like you. What kind of a world would you be living in? Would you be happy to say that you were responsible for that world exactly the way it is? You are.

Happy shopping!

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    About

    Mia's ideas, exercises and meditations to assist and inspire you on your journey to presence and conscious parenting. Includes concepts from various sources such as Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Michael Brown and Osho, to name a few.

    Or find out how to deepen your meditation, increase your presence effortlessly and live your dreams - here!

    Mia also blogs for Kid-ease on fun, educational crafts and activities for preschool kids.

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