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Dead Man Walking

6/15/2011

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An exercise to help conscious parents face death in order to truly live.
The first part of this exercise is my own and the second is adapted from a book called “The Four Hour Work Week” by Timothy Ferriss.

When you lose someone close to you, amidst the grief and trauma, there is a certain presence that arises. This is like a precious gap whereby you get the chance to reevaluate your life and priorities. Death is a wake up call to the living – life is short, and these bodies that we inhabit are incredibly fragile. What are you doing with this opportunity to experience everything there is to experience as a human being on this planet? For the next week, your daily task will be to contemplate this, without the need for a death to prompt this investigation...

PART ONE – CONTEMPLATING DYING
For the next week, every morning, before you hop out of bed, spend five minutes considering that today may be your last. If you knew for sure that you would be dead by midnight, what would you do differently today?

Would you really spend 14 hours at work? Would you speak to the people you come across differently? Would you invite a special friend to lunch? Would you take the time to watch the sunset? Would you stop worrying about your weight / the scratch on your car / your kid’s feet on the table?

Then live your day with this in mind... Imagine that the shower you’re going to take will be your last. Stay in for an extra five minutes and really feel the water coming down on you. Instead of guzzling down your breakfast while you start making your calls for the day, consider that this may be the last time you taste anything. Stop and savour every mouthful. Make yourself something special to eat instead of just something to fill the gap. And why not eat it with your best cutlery? Wear that something you’ve been saving for a special occasion. Today is special. With every person that you see today, greet them like it’s the first time you’ve ever met, and remember to say goodbye like you will never see them again. You may not. Make sure you have closure on any arguments or issues that you’ve been hanging on to. Would they really matter if you were not around tomorrow. If you knew you were going to die, would it be so hard to be the one to apologise and make peace? Does it really matter if you’re right or not? Are the things you’re worrying about honestly worth taking up all your thoughts and energy?

Of course I understand that this is an exercise and you can’t simply wake up and go “well, if I was going to die today I wouldn’t go to work”. Of course you need to fulfill your normal responsibilities. However, if that is the case, then consider why you are doing what you’re doing. Is your job simply a means to an end? How many hours a day / week / month are you spending living as a means to an end? What would you really like to be doing? Can this somehow become a career for you? Start making that move today. Start planning or learning or investigating a change for yourself right now. Don’t live your life now hoping for something better tomorrow, or further on down the line. What if there is no tomorrow? And this goes for all aspects of your life – relationships, hobbies, health etc. If this was your last day would you really spend half of it watching arb TV? Or fighting with your mother-in-law? Or hanging out with acquaintances that you don’t really get along with?

What else would you change? What would you stop to appreciate? Start NOW.

PART TWO – CONTEMPLATING LIVING
Get a notebook or pad of paper and spend some time writing down everything you could possibly dream of having, being or doing. Write down everything you’ve ever dreamed of. Don’t limit yourself by finances, time or circumstances. From the silliest little thing to the wildest thought you’ve ever had. For example...

Having – a new car (be specific), a house by the sea, an ipod, the latest bestseller, the original Mona Lisa (yes, you can include the virtually impossible), a trampoline, a puppy...
Being – enlightened, fluent in a foreign language, a world famous ballerina, a better mother/father/partner, the first non-astronaut to walk on the moon, healthy, fit, able to tie cherry stalks into knots with your tongue...
Doing – go on your dream holiday, swim with dolphins, take fencing lessons, finish your degree, do a headstand...

Be creative, have fun and most importantly don’t limit yourself.

Once you have your list, pick your absolute favourite (or two favourites if you really can’t decide) - the thing that you would most regret not having/doing/being if you died today - and do something right now to start making that dream happen in your reality. Google it, price it, find alternative ways to achieve it. If it’s some thing that you want, see if you can get it on auction. If it’s a holiday, look at cheap flights and house swapping as an option. If it’s getting fit, step out your front door and start walking. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Set a definite deadline, and don’t make this too far in the future - an absolute maximum of 6 months time – and then work out very definite steps that you can take to get you there.  And keep in mind that you shape your own reality. There is nothing preventing you from achieving all your dreams except your own limiting thoughts about them. Stop procrastinating. There is no tomorrow, only today. Start living.

The truth is that there are a million and one ways that you could die during the course of your normal life today. When your time is up, it’s up. What did you do with it? Every single moment is precious. Make the most of them all.

Wishing you a week of truly living!

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    About

    Mia's ideas, exercises and meditations to assist and inspire you on your journey to presence and conscious parenting. Includes concepts from various sources such as Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Michael Brown and Osho, to name a few.

    Or find out how to deepen your meditation, increase your presence effortlessly and live your dreams - here!

    Mia also blogs for Kid-ease on fun, educational crafts and activities for preschool kids.

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