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Top Priority

5/8/2012

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This week there is a very simple exercise to assist you in seeing where your spiritual practice lies on your priority list and it shouldn’t take more than half an hour of your time.

A lot of people get disillusioned with their spiritual practices because they feel they are working hard at it with little or no results. The first thing to point out here is that the minute your meditations become a means to an end, you have already missed the point. There is no action-reaction, activity-reward program going on in the spiritual realm. Meditation is done for its own sake, and in letting go of all desires and expectations you will find what you think you are looking for.

However, having said that, it is also true that if spirituality is important to you, it will be reflected in your life in how much of your time is dedicated to yourself and your inner world versus what is dedicated to the external world. Participating in the activity below will help you to see how much the external world is demanding your attention. This is why all the great Masters are always saying that there are plenty of teachers but very few dedicated disciples.

To get an idea of where your spirituality lies on your priority list, try actually making up your priority list as follows. I recommend doing this on your computer so that you can copy-paste as you need to adjust the list:

Make a list of everything you might do in a week. Include things like shopping (groceries, clothes, gifts etc), socialising (incl phone calls, emails to friends etc), eating (incl preparing food & washing dishes), travel (incl getting to work and back), sleeping, spiritual practices (incl meditating or attending church / temple / satsang, reading spiritual books, conscious breathing, etc), bathing & dressing (incl make-up, hair, brushing your teeth etc), working, entertainment (watching tv, movies, playing games, reading), sport or exercise, family time, etc.

Then allocate the amount of time spent on each activity every week. If it is something you do daily, like brushing your teeth, its easier to first figure out a daily time and then multiply this by seven. Be honest with yourself. Don’t say that you spend 2 hours a day on exercise (you wish) when in fact its more like 15 minutes.

Then rearrange your list with the activity you spend the most time on at the top and that which you spend the least on at the bottom, and number them starting with 1 for the top priority.

Your list will end up looking something like this:

1. Sleeping  - 56 hours
2. Work  - 35 hours
3. Eating – 35 hours
4. Bathing – 14 hours
5. Spiritual – 12 hours
6. Entertainment – 5 hours
7. Exercise – 1 hour
Etc.

The last task is to face up to where your spiritual practices fall on your priority list. You can then also use the list as a brainstorming session to see where you could increase awareness in other areas of your life to start moving spirituality up to Top Priority!

Some ideas to get you going:
 - try downloading talks by your favourite spiritual teacher on You Tube and watch these instead of arb TV
 - read a spiritual book instead of a novel
 - buy audio books by spiritual teachers and listen to these in your car or on your ipod as you travel to work
- sleep for an hour less and dedicate this time to meditation
- do all your arbitrary tasks like brushing teeth, shopping and doing dishes in a state of awareness
- take up a spiritually inclined exercise program like yoga or tai chi
- socialise with people who have similar priorities to you and with whom you can chat about spiritual topics

The list should give you a good idea of what is really important in your life, and can be a great exercise not just for your spiritual life, but also for seeing where other areas of your life could use some increasing in priority. To use the exercising as an example, you may be trying to lose weight but see that eating is #1 on your list and exercising falls to #15!

Remember, life is your spiritual practice – anything done in awareness will not only raise spirituality to the top of your priority list, but will also raise your level of consciousness.

Happy living!

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Become as Babes

2/8/2012

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Become as babes.
_“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven”  - Matthew 18:3

This week I’d like to explore this popular verse from the Bible with a simple meditation. I have come across a passage in a book by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj that explains this very thing that Jesus was talking about. Read the passage below and then attempt the meditation that follows as often as you can, but at least twice a day for the next week.

“An infant knows its body, but not the body-based distinctions. It is just conscious and happy. After all, that was the purpose for which it was born. The pleasure to be is the simplest form of self love, which later grows into love of the self. Be like an infant with nothing standing between the body and the self. The constant noise of the psychic life is absent. In deep silence the self contemplates the body. It is like the white paper on which nothing is written yet. Be like that infant, instead of trying to be this or that, be happy to be. You will be a fully awakened witness of the field of consciousness. But there should be no feelings and ideas to stand between you and the field.”

As you lie in bed this week, on waking up and before you go to sleep, see if you can feel your body without the interference of the mind. Feel the aliveness flowing through you. Feel your very existence. Imagine that you are a new born baby – in other words you have no language or imagery or memories with which to examine yourself, no judgements about how you feel, just the feeling that you are.

Happy regressions!

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Mindful Cleanliness

1/19/2012

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A mindfulness exercise for conscious parents.
_This is the last article in the four part series inspired by the work on mindfulness in everyday by Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn, where we have been adding one activity at a time that we are doing in a state of mindfulness.

This week we will be focusing on bathing or showering – another one that hopefully everyone is partaking in at least once a day!

I thought it would be nice to end this series of exercises with an easier one, however, don’t be fooled into thinking that you generally are in a sate of alert relaxation while you bath or shower. Notice how this activity is often done with great haste and little attention, and for how much of it you are lost in thought. Few people are ever really present in the bath or a shower, but are mostly already in the office, in bed, or on their way out in terms of their headspace. Our bodies, for the most part, clean themselves!

So, this week, appreciate your bathroom time.

Be completely absorbed in the experience by making use of your all your senses:
– smells – soap, mustiness, bath oils, sweat...
- sounds – water running, splashing, sounds filtering in from outside the bathroom, your breathing...
- feelings – warmth, cold, pressure, muscles unwinding, the relative roughness of the sponge against your skin...
- sights – steam, bubbles, your reflection in the tap...

Notice any invading thoughts and watch them dissipate. Notice any emotions that come up and allow them to be and pass.

Take your time. See if you can extend your mindfulness to drying and dressing yourself afterwards.

Having a bath or shower is an amazing experience and a great privilege. Enjoy every minute of it.

By this stage you should find that just by doing these arbitrary daily activities in a state of mindfulness that you are now spending a significant portion of your day in meditation. That is how easy it is to increase your consciousness and bring a sense of peace to your life. Do your best to continue brushing your teeth, doing your dishes, eating and bathing in a state of alert attention. These are just a few activities that I have chosen as I felt that they would apply to everyone, but don’t limit yourself to these – try to extend this awareness to as many areas of your life as you can until your whole life is a living meditation.

Stay clean, stay pure, stay peaceful!

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Mindful Meals

12/5/2011

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Mindful meals for conscious parents.
_Just a reminder that this is the third of a four part series inspired by the work of Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn, where each activity is done in a state of mindfulness.


This week we will be focusing on eating.

As with the previous two exercises, try to eat all your meals in a state of mindfulness. What does this mean? Being totally present in the experience – not lost in thought, or guzzling down the food as quickly as possible so that you can get on with something else. It really helps with this one if you can eat as many of your meals as possible in silence. Make sure that you are not involved in other activities while you eat – not working, or watching TV, or on the phone.

Most religions have a tradition of prayer before meals. I think this is a wonderful way to begin a meal – in a state of gratitude. I don’t mean for you to blurt out a quick “thanks for the grub”, but take a moment before you begin to consider where this food came from, how much energy it took to bring it to you, how wonderful it is that you have something to eat at every meal, and particularly how wonderful it is to eat delicious food!

And then show your appreciation for your food by actually paying attention to it while you eat...

Although food may seem to be mostly a taste experience, try to make use of your all your senses:
– smells: you’ll be surprised how much smell affects your ability to taste your food. Take a moment to bring the food up to your nose and breathe in the different aromas.
- sounds: the sound of your cutlery on the plate, the sizzling of the hot food, the sounds of your chewing.
- textures: different foods have vastly different textures – is your food smooth or slimy or chewy or rough? How does it feel to simply hold it in your mouth and run your tongue over it?
- tastes: see if you can taste the subtle differences between mouthfuls, the underlying herbs and spices that have been used, the combinations of salty, bitter, sweet, sour and pungent foods.
- sights: the colours and textures and vast variations on these in one meal, the uniqueness of each vegetable or fruit, the shapes and contours.

Although you may have preferences for different tastes, smells, or textures, attempt to suspend your judgement this week. Try to eat something that you particularly dislike, but eat it slowly and in a state of total mindfulness and non-judgement and see what happens.

Set aside a little more time for your meals this week and slow them down considerably. There is a Chinese Saying: “drink your food and eat your drink”. Don’t forget that digestion starts in the mouth, not in the stomach. Most of us are eating much too fast and are then confused by the resulting indigestion. Take a moment, too, to appreciate your own body and how amazing and intelligent it is to take whatever nonsense you give it and send it to the correct place, break it down into what you need, distribute these nutrients to different areas of the body and then use them to fight disease or build muscles or numerous other tasks without you paying any attention to it whatsoever.

If you want to take this exercise one step further, work on preparing all your meals in a state of mindfulness too – with total presence, attention and acceptance for the moment exactly as it presents itself.

Remember in all these exercises to be patient with yourself. If you find yourself consuming an entire meal in unconsciousness or judging your experience in any way, to simply notice it, and celebrate the fact that you have noticed it and that you now have a chance to choose differently in the future.

BTW Don’t forget to continue brushing your teeth and doing your dishes with awareness. The point of this series of exercises is to bring awareness into as many areas of your day as possible, but focusing on one at a time to make it more accessible.

Bon appetit!

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Mindful Dishes

11/4/2011

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A mindfulness exercise for parents.
Just a reminder that this is the second of a four part series inspired by the work on mindfulness in everyday life by Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn.

This week we will be focusing on either washing the dishes or packing and unpacking the dishwasher.

This is somewhat less of an emotionally neutral activity than brushing your teeth, and we will bring some of this emotional awareness into the exercise.

So, out with the post it notes and pop one above the sink or on the dishwasher or somewhere where it will be a quick reminder before you begin one of these tasks. If you are not the person in your household usually responsible for the dishes, then maybe this is a good time to combine this activity with doing something nice for someone else with no need for acknowledgement or exchange (a future exercise coming soon!).

Perhaps the best way to approach this exercise initially will be with acceptance rather than joy and excitement (although if these do pop up in the week, don’t be surprised). The main thing is that while you’re dealing with the dishes to do this in a way in which you are not completely lost in thought.

Make use of your senses:
– notice any smells - the dishwashing powder, the leftovers, any other general kitchen smells
- sounds - the clinking of the dishes against one another, the water going into or out of the sink (in our home we call this the drain dragon and it elicits much excitement from the kids – perhaps a chance to reclaim some childishness and actually enjoy this?)
- textures - smooth plates, slimy pots, wetness vs dryness, cold vs heat
- tastes - no, I don’t expect you to sip the dirty dish water, but how about running your finger through the leftover sauce?
- sights - colours, bubbles, flashing lights on dishwashers, wrinkly hands

The point is to not do this as a means to an end, but to really engage in every moment of the experience. Just because it’s become a boring old chore doesn’t mean that it has to remain that way. Forget the past and embrace this experience as if it was the first time you had ever done it and that you were never ever going to get the chance to do it again. Try to remember the first time one of your kids helped you to wash the dishes and the joy and excitement that they brought to the experience.

Notice also your mental and emotional activity throughout. As usual, if you do get lost in thought and move into auto pilot mode, simply notice this and gently bring yourself back into the present. Pay particular attention to the emotional baggage that may be associated with this task – any resentment, boredom, irritability, etc. Don’t add a second layer of judgement by judging your response to this. Notice it with interest, see it as a conditioned response based on the past, and let it go.

Most importantly, enjoy the experience. Every moment of every day counts. And someone has to do the dishes – wouldn’t it make an enormous difference to the general energy in the world if everyone did every task they were involved in with total acceptance and maybe even a little joy?!

BTW Don’t forget to continue brushing your teeth with awareness. The point of this series of exercises is to bring awareness into as many areas of your day as possible, but focusing on one at a time to make it more accessible.

Bring on the bubbles!

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Mindful Teeth

10/18/2011

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A mindfulness activity for conscious parents.
The next four posts are inspired by the course that I attended on mindfulness in everyday life based on the work of Dr Jon Kabat-Zinn.

The idea is to bring the sense of meditative awareness and presence into everyday life. So, over the next 4 posts we will add one activity per blog that we will be doing in a state of mindfulness. I will be choosing 4 very mundane daily activities that we normally do in a state of unconsciousness, thinking about something else or simply acting out on auto-pilot. The thing is, a large portion of our lives is made up of mundane daily activities – things that we normally do as a means to an end – brushing our teeth, doing the dishes, driving to work. Seldom do we stop and revel in the wonder of these simple tasks that have become background to our lives. What we will attempt over the next 4 blogs is to bring our meditation into as many areas of our lives as we can, so that in the long run our whole lives become a meditation, a celebration of life itself.

This time we will focus on brushing our teeth – an activity that hopefully everyone is engaging in a least once, if not twice a day. I suggest that you put a post-it note or something up on your bathroom mirror to remind you of this one, as after a whole lifetime of doing this unconsciously it might be easy to slip back into old habits.

So, every time you brush your teeth, use this as a meditation. Without bringing the thinking mind in to analyse every movement, try to be aware of some of the following...

 - how wonderful it is to have a toothbrush. Watch a little child when they get their first toothbrush and see the excitement and wonder of this familiar everyday object. Try to reclaim a little of that wonder and freshness.
 - take a good look at your toothpaste. Notice every little movement of your body involved in fetching your chosen paste, opening it up, putting it onto your toothbrush. Bring it up to your nose and smell it. Put a little bit on your tongue and experience the intensity of the taste.
 - then as you brush your teeth, try to be aware of all the sensations involved – taste, smell, feeling, sounds. Notice what your tongue is doing as you brush – how it moves out of the way. Notice the different sensations as you brush different areas. Try brushing your tongue, or even running the toothbrush over your lips. Notice the different movements involved in getting to all areas.
 - If you slip into auto-pilot, don’t stress, Just notice how easily that happens and bring yourself back to the task at hand.
 - If you find that your mind wanders or tries to label / name / analyse everything you are doing, bring awareness to your breath, and keep some awareness on the breath as you continue.
 - listen to the sounds of the water as you turn it on to rinse. Feel the sensations of this – the heat or cold, and the different tastes before and after you rinse.
 - notice any small details along the way. Stay focused in the present and totally engaged in the activity that you are busy with.

Ok, I realise that if you brushed your teeth like this every day it would take more time than you have allocated to this activity. However, you can brush your teeth in the same amount of time and stay totally present and aware of all sensations and your breathing. It helps in the beginning to take a little more time and exaggerate the experience to draw you out of the lifetime of unconscious activity that preceded this week. So, if you can, spend a little more time on the first few days and then as the week goes on see if you can bring the time down and still keep the same level of awareness.

By the way, don’t be surprised if your mind resists this activity with all its might. It will most likely tell you that this is silly and mundane and that there is no awesomeness or wonder in brushing your teeth and that it will not further any of your great plans that you have for yourself. Let it rant, notice this, and laugh. There is only this moment, right now, so whether you are reading this or brushing your teeth or making a life changing decision, the wonder of life is in this moment. Enjoy every second of it.

Happy brushing!

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Who Am I?

10/3/2011

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A consciousness exercise for parents.
All the great spiritual teachers over time have recommended this simple, yet powerful meditation:

Sit quietly for 10-20 minutes twice a day, with your eyes closed, and ask yourself “Who Am I?”. Don’t try to answer the question, simply allow the silence that follows it to be. Know that any answer that comes from the mind is a thought form, and cannot be who you truly are. This question cannot be answered on the level of form. If your mind starts to wander, as it inevitably does, ask the question again, and again sit in the stillness.

Try to keep this question in mind as you go about your week. Whenever you catch yourself defining yourself or playing a role, ask yourself if that is really who you are. Question even your most fundamental of assumptions – Are you your body? Are you your mind? Are you your personality? Are you a person? Find out who you are by finding out first who you are not. Once you have stripped yourself of everything that you are not, then only what you are will remain!

"Ask yourself, 'Who is reading this?' It's not who you think." - JDH
 
Wishing You a wonderful week of Self discovery!

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Zen Masters

9/8/2011

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An exercise in presence for conscious parents.
This exercise was inspired by the teachings of Michael Brown and the numerous stories of Zen Masters over the centuries.

If you’ve ever heard any of the stories about Zen Masters they are usually very funny for the listener, but quite intense experiences for the disciples. Usually they involve a disciple who is not attending to his meditation properly and is therefore lost in thought. What the Zen Master will do is to sneak up behind him and either whack him on the head with a stick, or throw him out the second story window, or something equally as hectic that is sure to make him remain present in the future for fear of further attack!

With this in mind, your task this week is to discover your Zen Masters. Everyone has someone, or some situation in their lives that annoys them intensely, or tends to draw them into unconsciousness – a boss, your kids, an alarm going off, your mother-in-law. These people / situations are often our best spiritual teachers, or as Michael Brown puts it, your demons are really your angels. The idea is to nominate these people as your Zen Masters. If you can, take a photo of them and write “My Zen Master” across it and stick it somewhere that you will see it daily. Then, whenever the person or situation starts to drive you insane, remember that they are your teachers, there to help you to become conscious, and use this as a trigger to do something to bring you into yourself and into the present. This could involve focusing on your breathing, using a mantra, looking at a flower, anything that will stop you from resorting to your old conditioned mind patterns or reactive behavior.

In reality, everything in your life is there to assist you in raising your level of consciousness. Your life is your spiritual journey. Your Zen Masters are all around. Make the most of their lessons!

As the Chinese saying goes – Happiness in Suffering!

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Ogling the Orchids

8/30/2011

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A meditation for conscious parents.
 I have come across so many different versions of this exercise – Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, Osho – they all recommend the simple act of contemplating nature as an opportunity for transcendence.

This week, try every day to find a beautiful flower (yes, it can be the same one every day if you like) and spend five minutes just looking at it. Don’t label it or try to describe it mentally. Just look. Become one with the flower. Feel the inherent stillness present in it. Flowers are an easy access point for the stillness within all things, and in connecting with the stillness in the flower, you automatically connect to the stillness within yourself. My favourites for this one are orchids for their intense otherworldliness, but any flower will do. In fact, sometimes the simplest and smallest flowers hold the most wonder when really looked at without the interfering mind.

To continue this exercise throughout your life, buy yourself (or even better, grow yourself) a beautiful flowering pot plant for your desk. Then, every time you feel yourself getting sucked into the world, simply connect with your flower for a moment and feel the power of this simple meditation come to life (next thing I’ll have you hugging trees... Ha ha!).

Happy ogling!

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Comfort Zones

8/11/2011

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A fun exercise for conscious parents.
Ready for some fun?! This week we’re going to try stepping out of our comfort zones. Spiritual traditions are always telling us that we are not who we think we are and that we need to let go of all our self-imposed definitions to find out who we are not, are thereby who we actually are.

So, your exercise for this week is to figure out what and who you define yourself as (including the implied definitions) and then to mess with these as much as possible.

For example...

 - If you define yourself as a Goth, you could spend the week dressed in bright colours and listening to hip-hop.
 - If you define yourself as a Christian, you could try going to a service at a mosque or synagogue.
 - If you define yourself as a punctual person, you could try to be late for everything this week.
 - If you define yourself as a couch potato, you could go for a daily run.
 - If you define yourself as the life of the party, you could try to sit inconspicuously and observe instead of partaking in the action.
 - If you define yourself as shy, make an effort to say one thing to every stranger that you pass.

Try to stir up some of your little habits and routines that you have put in place – eat dinner at a different time, try something new, wear your hair in a different style, sleep in or wake early.

Do something so out of character that everyone says “hey, do you know what so-and-so did today – I would have expected it from x but not from them!” The more uncomfortable and unlike you it is, the better.

May you find who you are not, and discover that it wasn’t what you thought it would be!

Have fun!

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    About

    Mia's ideas, exercises and meditations to assist and inspire you on your journey to presence and conscious parenting. Includes concepts from various sources such as Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Michael Brown and Osho, to name a few.

    Or find out how to deepen your meditation, increase your presence effortlessly and live your dreams - here!

    Mia also blogs for Kid-ease on fun, educational crafts and activities for preschool kids.

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